Parenting in a Pandemic: An Unexpected Opportunity

Parenting in a Pandemic: An Unexpected Opportunity
by Jessie Mahoney MD

Being a parent in the middle of a pandemic, sheltering in place with cancelled daycare, school, and college, and working at home or being doctors in high-risk, high-intensity situations–none of this is easy.

Yet, it is also an incredible opportunity for an abundance of love, connection, compassion, curiosity, learning, and growth.

Intentionally choosing your thoughts about your current situation allows you to change your experience of it.

So how can you can choose to think about the current COVID- 19 situation to help it feel more like an opportunity?

There is no better time than now to feel and share as much compassion, connection, and love as possible.  Love and connection protect against PTSD, anxiety and depression for you and your children. Choose to focus your attention on thoughts and activities that inspire love and connection.

“People will forget what you said.  People will forget what you did.  But people will never forget how you made them feel.”         -Maya Angelou

Intentionally choose thoughts that help you feel safe and in control and share them with your children.  Worry is a defensive approach to chaos and uncertainty.  Mindset and thought management are offensive strategies. Useful thoughts to try:
This is what we have today. We will do whatever we can to figure it out. We are safe at home, not stuck at home.

Read more on positive power phrases.

Model vulnerability and show your kids and teens how you work through your own anxiety, fear and overwhelm. Demonstrate that you can allow and accept these uncomfortable feelings that are of course present right now.  Then show up as the brave, superhero doctor you are, with these feelings along for the ride, but not in the proverbial driver’s seat.  Your children will be much more nimble when faced with life challenges if they learn from you that this is possible.

Model for your children how to problem-solve, face difficulty, and overcome challenges while practicing self-care and self-compassion. Being overly hard on yourself for your imperfections doesn’t serve you or your children who are watching.

Read more on meditation for self compassion.

5. Fun and laughter are important life skills for long-term emotional health. Kids need to not only see their parents work hard but also have fun and laugh.  Cancelled activities and school drop-offs leave more time for family laughter and fun.

6.  Meditation and mindfulness are most important things parents can do to help our children. These skills improve your immune system and your equanimity. When you model it for your children and teach it to them, they learn tools that help them for a lifetime.

 “ The space between stimulus and response is where your power lies.”   -Viktor Frankl

7.  “Your breath is always available to you”.  Breathing is a tool to improve both physical and emotional health.  Deep breaths nourish your body, especially your nervous system.  Breathe deeply often and teach your children to do the same.

8.  Being in nature is a healing opportunity for everyone. Spending time in nature as a family is an opportunity to slow down, notice, and be mindful of all our sensations. You can be out in nature while also social distancing.

Read the Meditation in Nature: Tree Wisdom.

9.  It is important for kids to be helpful and part of the solution.  It is good for their mental health to feel useful (and good for your housework) to have their help. Frame your requests in terms of making a difference and contributing to fighting the virus. 

Think creatively about ways kids can help at home and in the community. For example, cards, drawing pictures to share, reaching out to isolated elderly relatives, cooking, cleaning.

10.  As a parent, you are the guide for your children. Your children’s behavior, however, is not about you.  This pandemic will undoubtedly lead to many tough parenting moments ahead.  Frustration, fatigue, overwhelm, and anger will appear.  If you can find the pause in these moments and try to respond rather than react, your children will learn from you.  If you can be curious rather than furious, your children will learn from you.

As parents, we are raising someone else’s spouse, parent, and colleague. Teaching children to handle adversity and overwhelm with a pause and frustration and anger with curiosity, will help them in their future life roles.

Enjoy the “opportunities” of this crazy moment in time.

Originally published on Kevin MD.

About the Author:

Jessie Mahoney is a Physician and a Parent Coach as well as a Pediatrician.  She is also a yoga and mindfulness instructor.  As a coach she specializes in mindful coaching for those who are successful on the surface yet struggling underneath – whether that be with relationships, parenting, overwhelm from emotional and physical clutter.

You can find her at Pause and Presence Coaching www.jessiemahoneymd.com .  She can also be can be reached directly at jessie@jessiemahoneymd.com.

Mindful MD Mom Asks:
Has your parenting changed during the pandemic? What helps you during these times? Share your experiences with us!

Other Articles You May Enjoy:

Mindful Parenting Tips to Start Today

How Mindfulness Can Help You Enjoy the Parenting Experience

Remember the 5 Rs of Resilience

Are Numbing Habits Holding You Back?