Dealing with Life’s Challenges:
The C word and the Untied Shoelace that Almost Killed Me
By Tali Lando MD
It’s always the things we least expect that sneak around to bite us in the ass.
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission with no extra charge to you if you purchase through my links. See disclosure for more information.
I was a young mom of three girls, a preemie age six months, and two and four year old toddlers. I was a healthy, thirty-six (and a half) year-old female Otolaryngology surgeon. I was strong and invincible and definitely not sick.
Then, in the summer of 2013, the C word crept into my life: cancer. Specifically, stage 3C locally metastatic breast cancer.
It was shocking. I was petrified. Blind-sided.
But I am a fighter and surrender is not an option.
I did what I had to do to beat the cancer: bilateral mastectomy with axillary node dissection, chemotherapy for an estrogen/progesterone receptor positive tumor, and then radiation.
During this challenging time, my family and friends rallied around me. In the hardest times and darkest places, my husband Alex was my truest champion. My kids were way too little to understand my situation. This which was mostly a blessing and only slightly a curse—for instance, when they insisted on jumping on my bed the day after surgery. OUCH.
Adjusting to life after surgery takes time and recovery is a long process.
Read more about my journey in the Hell and Back: Wife and Mother, Doctor and Patient, Dragon Slayer
Our experiences shape and prepare us and my journey was only getting started.
***
One sunny day in early fall, I was feeling decent and strolling down the sidewalk with my daughter. I noticed her shoelace was untied.
We were right in the middle of a usually deserted driveway. In fact, in the last five years I had never seen a car back out of those driveways.
So, when I noticed that my daughter shoelace was untied, I bent down to tie it without any hesitation. I didn’t glance back as I normally do. I was focused on the rogue shoelace and not at my surroundings. Mom mode was on.
However, as unexpected things do, I was once again blind-sided.
I felt someone shoving me hard. The force was so great.
In my hazy post-chemo brain a realization slowly emerged.
The pressure was just too strong to be a person. It had to be something more forceful, but what exactly? What was attacking me?
I looked up from my knee-down position to see the trunk of a car over my head with the back tires nearing my face.
Powerless to react, I lay there for a split second, in shock.
Then I heard a woman screaming, “STOP, STOP, STOP.”
By the grace of God and just in time, the car screeched to a halt, its radio still blaring.
Out jumped a wide eyed panicking teenager.
“I did not see you! I did not see you! I SWEAR, I did not see you!”
And she hadn’t.
It was the perfect storm: a usually deserted driveway, loud music, an unsuspecting and distracted teenage driver, and a pedestrian invisible in the rearview mirror crouching down to take care of a rogue shoelace.
Dazed, I rose slowly from the ground.
I brushed myself off and wiped my bleeding knees. My eyes darted around me frantically for my daughter.
A mix of emotions ran through me.
At first, embarrassment. Then, terror that I was almost maimed or could have been killed. Finally, panic.
Where was my precious girl?
There she was!
Unscathed, she stood about 2 feet away. Her brown eyes were wide with fully dilated pupils and her mouth agape.
I grabbed her hand and scurried off, barely acknowledging the people who had just saved my life.
I left the teenage driver trembling with tears.
It was only a half mile later that I began to cry quietly knowing I had just cheated death or severe injury right at the time I was fighting for my life.
With my pale face and bald head, I comforted my daughter who kept repeating, “Mommy that car was running you over. Mommy, mommy…”
“It’s ok, bunny. I’m fine. Nothing happened.”
There was no room to process this event. I had too many other emotional glass balls to juggle. With the exclusion of the two witnesses, my husband, and a few close friends, I never told another soul what happened.
It was too much to process. It’s fine. Nothing happened. I was fine.
But something did happen. And memories cannot stay buried forever.
***
One day, just months after my five-year cancer-versary, I emerged from yet another anesthetic on my twisty road to breast reconstruction in the post-operative unit.
Out from the depths of my mind, these thoughts and memories began to trickle and then pour out of me.
I had and to write them down so I could let them go.
Untied Shoelaces and Other Reflections
Cancer threatened my health but a freakish near accident almost took my life. And yet I survived it. We face our challenges, our demons, our near-death experiences. Does this mean we should live in fear, guilt, or shame?
No. We are fighters.
We cannot know what’s hiding around unforeseen corners.
We cannot plan for all of life’s permutations.
We can only do your best, every day.
So, let’s fight for what we believe. Struggle for what makes life worth living: family, work, friendship, community, and achievement.
Hustle, relax, then hustle again.
Do not fear the winding path because it may lead you, as it has me, to unimaginably stunning places.
Do not give up in the face of adversity, even if you really want to stop.
Always strive to do better than the day before.
Realize that spectacular moments are fleeting so take note.
In short, grab your life by the balls and live it fully.
You never know if untied shoelaces will try to kill you.
About the Author:
Dr. Tali Lando Aronoff is a pediatric otolaryngology (ENT) Surgeon, author, speaker, mother of three young girls, enthusiastic scuba diver, and breast cancer survivor. She writes about her journey in her book, Hell and Back: Wife and Mother, Doctor and Patient, Dragon Slayer.
Connect with her on her site and on social media on Instagram and Facebook.
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission with no extra charge to you if you purchase through my links. See disclosure for more information.
The Mindful MD Mom Asks:
How do you deal with unforeseen circumstances? What life lessons did you learn from the challenging seasons of your life? Share with us!
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