Positive Power Phrases

Positive Power Phrases
by Dr. Nadia

We’ve all been there. One moment feeling like the boss that you are; however, in another moment feeling inadequate, confused, hesitant, angry, or any combination of negative feelings.

In a word: disempowered.

It is in these difficult moments that our emotions go autopilot. We end up reacting often out of proportion to the situation. The aftermath is usually a variation of guilt, sadness, shame, etc. We regret how we behaved. We (hopefully) accept our part in the conflict, apologize, and make up with whoever we were in conflict.

However, it becomes a problem if every time a disempowering situation occurs that we react out of control, lashing out in anger, or cruelty in words or actions.

Over time, the apologies get old and relationships become negatively affected. In some cases, irreparable damage can occur.

If we can learn to bring ourselves back into a position of empowerment, we can prevent ineffective cycles of communication and reactions.  We can train ourselves to respond instead of react.

The unfortunate situation is that many of us never really learned how to make positive mind shifts in high pressure or high emotion situations. So, the negative reactions we had as a child tend to show up even when we are adults.

This is especially pertinent because as parents, we often live in high pressure and/or high emotion situations as we navigate parenthood. The early years of parenthood are the toughest. Lack of sleep, inability of our children to communicate verbally, tantrums, work pressure, lack of self care, parental burnout, etc.

Parents, do any of these sound familiar?

• Do you ever feel like you’re having a power struggle between you and your child?
• That you say one thing and they defiantly say no or ignore it completely?
• Do you often say or do things that you wish you hadn’t?
• Are you concerned that your bond with your child may be negatively affected based on your interactions?
• Do you often worry that you are not a good parent?

So how to respond instead of react? Why is this important?

Respond instead of React

When we are not aware of our triggers and/or don’t have a game plan for how to respond in disempowering situations, much can be said and done in a reaction of negativity that we may regret later.

A few times in the course of a life may not be a big deal but unfortunately authoritarian parenting cycles can continue and have negative results later on. Read on more on various parenting styles.

Read more on the parental effect on a child’s self esteem and how mindfulness helps improve the parenthood experience.

Positive Power Phrases

1. It’s ok. I’m ok.
2. I can handle this. I will not make it a big deal.
3. It’s ok to feel (insert emotion) about this situation. I acknowledge it but I choose to be calm
4. I am calm.
5. Breathe. Focus on the breath
6. I am in control of myself.
7. I will radiate love even though I do not feel like it.
8. The kids are not trying to annoy me on purpose.
9. They are unable to express what they are feeling but I can help us get through this
10. I am a great mom/dad and this situation does not make me any less of an awesome person.
11. My kids love me and look up to me.
12. Why is this situation bothering me?
13. Let me take a minute to check in with myself
14. What is my child trying to tell me?
15. We are all struggling in this moment. I will extend grace to myself and my kids.
16. I got this.
17. I love this person. I am not trying to attack him/her. He/she is not my enemy.
18. I am safe.
19. We can disagree and still love each other.
20. I cannot control this moment but I can control my reaction and response.
21. I will use this challenging moment to model the appropriate way to handle stressful situation
22. This is a temporary situation but my words have a lasting impact
23. My kids are learning from me. I can show them how to deal with this in a positive way.
24. Maybe my child doesn’t even know why she’s upset. I can offer my support.
25. We will get through this together

Mindful Breathing

I find taking some slow, deep, mindful breaths very helpful. In fact, taking time to breathe activates the parasympathetic nervous system, slows down heart rate, and gives feeling of calm. Then, I give myself a positive power phrase to focus on as I breathe.

After a few cycles of breathing and repeating positive power phrases, mindful shifts will occur as one moves to an empowered state.

I choose my response and I choose calm.

When I am able to calm myself, I am able to come from a place of compassion and grace. Read more on how I handle tantrums and how it can be a learning experience for both kids and parents.

Even if I feel initially feel upset or stressed in a situation, I have practiced these strategies to the point it is second nature now. In fact, I still surprise myself at how calm my voice sounds in the midst of a stressful situation with my kids.

It is humbling to recognize that if I am feeling so upset internally, how much harder it must be for the child who neither has the awareness, the brain development, or the verbal capacity to share the intense emotion.

Makes you feel for the kid, no? Like, poor baby is really struggling right now. So, how can I help you and myself get through this?

Negative or positive, we truly are control of the outcome of a situation through the use of our emotions and perspective. Acknowledging, processing, and accepting our own state of being makes all the difference.

By using power phrases and shifting to an empowered parent mindset, challenging situations become much easier to handle. With just a little practice, reactions change to conscious responses. And, it becomes a matter of  seconds to go from annoyance and impatience to a mindset of compassion and kindness.

After all, we already have the love in our hearts. We just to access that love for ourselves and others in challenging situations.

***************

What tips help you in challenging situations? Do you use affirmations or power phrases? If so, which ones? Would love to hear from you!

More mindful parenting reflections you may enjoy:

• How to stay mindful when you feel distracted
• Adding self care to your busy routine
• The role of fathers in modern parenting
• Traveling with kids made easy
• Meditation on life lessons