How to Be Mindful When You Feel Distracted

How to Be Mindful When You Feel Distracted
by Dr. Nadia

We are great multitaskers. Whether at work or at home, we usually a long list of tasks and responsibilities that is running through our minds. Our minds are so busy with many thoughts, commands, critiques, reminders to ourselves. This mental clutter can be very distracting. It takes away from the present moment and even ruin family or friend time if we are routinely checking our emails or phones or thinking of other things. Here are some ways to be mindful when you feel distracted.

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So why do we even care if we are distracted? Is it really even a big deal?

Actually, yes. It is a big deal.

Distraction has a much bigger impact on our lives than just taking us away from the present moment. It can negatively affect our relationships, our children’s development, and even our own brains. Read more on how distraction rewires our brains.

I recently read a thought provoking article on the effects of distracted parenting on child development. The article discusses parental screen time as having a negative effect on emotional and developmental outcomes on children.

Due to technology right at our fingertips and the habit of having our phones with us all the time, we may miss out on emotional cues and responsive communication. These are essential in early childhood for language development and learning in general as “[t]oddlers cannot learn when we break the flow of conversations by picking up our cellphones or looking at the text that whizzes by our screens”.

Good point. We may think we are multitasking but actually we are giving only part our attention to what is in front of us and more accurately, pretty freaking distracted a lot of the times.

So, how to turn off that multitasking switch, bring mindfulness to the moment, and focus on the present experience?

Keep it low tech

Practically and personally speaking, I know this is difficult. Despite our best intentions, we do get distracted by our phones. Sometimes passively with a text message. Sometimes actively (ie. checking the sports score or responding to Instagram comments while we are hanging with our kids, friends, or partner).

However, if we are trying to be more present, we must put aside obvious sources of distraction.

That means putting the phone on vibrate or silent and then putting it away. Out of reach somewhere preferably. Unless one is on call for work and needs to answer urgently, most other things can wait.

Along with making a conscious decision to not look at or answer phone is to actually have a certain period of this phone block. During this time, even if it buzzes or rings, you will actively ignore it and bring your awareness and focus back to where you are right now.

The more detached and disconnected from your device, the more likely you are to be fully present in the experience.

If being away from your phone for too long makes you uneasy, you are definitely not alone.

Common concerns:
What if I miss something important?
What if someone needs me emergently?

Think of it this way, by focusing on whatever is on your phone you are missing out on something more important: your current experience.

And someone does need you and it’s the person (or people) you are sharing this experience with. They need you. All of you. Mind, body, spirit.

Alright, you may be thinking. I’ve put the phone away. Now what?

Bring Mindfulness to the Moment

Mindfulness is the practice of bringing awareness to the present moment in a gentle and nonjudgmental way. Focus on the current experience and try not think of the past or the future. Notice who you are with, the food you are eating, where you are, who you are with, what you are doing.

If you feel yourself drifting off to another thought, bring back your focus to the experience.

Include your kids in the experience too. Here are some great mindfulness activities for summer by Help Mama Meditate.

Some great reads below. Thank you to my readers who have recommended some of these great books!

Mindful Eating

Whether we realize it or not, we spend a lot of time eating. However, do we actually get to enjoy the experience? Or it is usually a rushed or mindless task?

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

–  Quickly gulping down coffee while getting ready in the morning
–  Inhaling breakfast in the car while listening to the radio/ silently (or not so silently) willing traffic to subside
–  Eating lunch while still at our desk at work or not getting time to even eat a proper meal
–  Having meals in front of the tv

Instead of trying to multitask meals, make it mindful instead.

Look at the food in front of you. Notice the aroma, colors, texture, how it makes you feel. Then eat and actually taste it. Savor the flavor. If you are eating with others, enjoy the company. Allow yourself to enjoy the experience of eating.

More on mindful eating here.

Turn off the To-do List Mentality

We are all busy people. There is a lot to do. But does that mean that our entire life has to become hustle and bustle, items on the list of life? To just do things so that we can do more things?

If you need to “do” something, then focus on the task at hand: being present in the now.

Focus with a Mantra or Meditation

When you feel yourself getting distracted, bring back the focus with a mantra or affirmation, a word or a phrase which helps concentrate your attention.

Some examples include:

–  I am here now and this is where I need to be
–  Other things can wait
–  I am here to experience this moment

Meditation helps with focus and clearing the mind. For more, read meditation on thought and finding balance with mediation and yoga.

If you made it through this article without getting distracted, woo hoo!

If not, no worries, I still got you with a quick summary of staying mindful despite distractions.

In a nutshell:

Let’s make our moments meaningful by:

1.  Removing obvious distractions for a certain period of time or activity (ie. put the phone away during dinner)
2. Allow yourself to just be where you are right now, mentally, physically, emotionally. Whether it be hanging out with others, parenting, or enjoying a meal.
3. If you feel yourself drifting, bring back your focus with a mantra or affirmation.

What works for you when you feel distracted? Please share your tips and experiences!